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Three neon bar signs showing karaoke, cocktails, and lungs

Relationships, Dating, and Stage 4 Lung Cancer 2.0

A few months back, I wrote an article about how hard it was to meet someone who will accept you as a cancer patient, with no cure in sight. It's extremely hard, especially living in a resort community where the majority of people you meet are passing through for various reasons. The community I live in is also a major golfing community. So, we have plenty of hospitality workers on this island. In fact, you can basically narrow down the main occupations of this area. They consist of hospitality employees, construction workers, and real estate agents.

Dating discouragement

My article a few months ago was discouraging, to say the least. As a single mom, with stage 4 lung cancer, it is so hard to do things on your own. I was an independent woman before this happened and didn't need a man, or anyone for that matter. Only my daughter was my priority. But meeting someone post diagnosis proved harder than I could have ever imagined.

Although I felt lost, scared, and alone, I quit trying. But what if something happened? I had no family here and was simply staying so my daughter could continue to build and sustain a solid relationship with her father. Let's face it, no one knows when the other shoe will drop.

A serendipitous, chance meeting

After writing that article, I went to court to complete my bankruptcy filing. After my successful day in court, I decided to treat myself. Albeit, I was alone, this is a small town where you can walk into any bar and practically know everyone.

I went to a local karaoke bar. I've done this before and seriously sing like a dying cat. Definitely not my forte.

Upon arrival, I sat next to a couple I knew from visiting the establishment a time or two. We were having a great time when the lady sitting next to me pointed out a man at the end of the bar, by himself. He kept staring in our direction. She "dared" me to tell him to buy me a drink. So, I did. Approaching him I said, "Since you keep staring, buy me a drink". And, he did, so we began talking and I found out he was supposed to be meeting a girl that night. It was the second time he would be seeing her, but she didn't show up. We spent the night talking and when the bar closed, we came back to my house to hang out longer.

Finding my rock

No, I did not sleep with him. When meeting guys, I don't do one night stands, thus I did not sleep with him. I found myself incredibly intrigued by him. I'm sure he probably thought he was in for a good time that night, but I wanted company, not sex. So, he obliged and stayed up with me most of the night talking. I revealed my diagnosis to him, as well as the worst stats I could think of. If he was going to run, I wanted it to be then.

Surprisingly, he didn't run. In fact, he asked me out to dinner. A few nights later we were eating a fabulous meal overlooking the marina. We've been inseparable ever since. This man came into my life just as I was losing hope. He makes me laugh so much that I forget about cancer when I'm with him unless I'm having a bad day.

You have to keep living

Someone commented on my first dating post, something to the effect of, "This is a joke, if they had stage 3 or 4 cancer, the last thing they would care about was dating". Well, that is true in the beginning, when your world is turned upside down. But, after living so long with it, I needed the companionship and help. And I'm so grateful for this man I randomly met. You have to keep living. Worrying will do nothing for you.

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This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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