No Shame In Lung Cancer

I have been busy reading. Reading and reading and reading. I have been reading articles written by other contributors here at LungCancer.net. One thing I have found we have in common. We have all faced the stigma that comes with lung cancer. The question: Did you smoke?

People with cancer normally received sympathy

At the beginning of my journey, I felt treated differently than other people with cancer. I felt treated differently because, in my experience, people with cancer received sympathy. People respond with things like, “I'm so sorry", or an assortment of words of endearment and encouragement. I assume people with other types of cancer do not face questions about what they might have done to cause their cancer.

“Did you smoke?”

For me? Most of the time people’s first response is, “Did you smoke?” It stays a question I face regularly. MRI techs, CT techs, and medical volunteers, still today -- 3 years in, ask me if I smoked. I remember the first time someone asked me the question.

I did smoke. For thirty years off and on throughout my life. I used to be embarrassed to tell people I have lung cancer because I knew the question was coming. There were many instances I felt as if it was implied, I deserved cancer. However, with time, acceptance and research, I have learned everybody deserves a cure. Everyone deserves treatment, and compassion, regardless of their smoking history.

Learning not to be ashamed of my lung cancer

The pivotal moment for me was during an appointment for testing. It had been about 3 months since my diagnosis. I arrived at the hospital and was walking from the reception area of the hospital to the scan area. It was challenging to walk. It was difficult to breathe. The volunteer escorting me was a darling, young spirited older man who engaged in conversation with me. He asked me “Did you smoke?”

I just stopped walking. I took a small break then continued following behind him. I finally replied, through tears, “Does it matter?” He stopped walking. We looked at each other. Finally, he said, very lovingly, “I am so sorry. I didn’t even think about what I was asking.” He continued, “I learned something today. I learned to never ask that question again.” It was a teachable moment for both of us.

That was the day, I learned not to be ashamed to say, “I have lung cancer”.

I wish I could tell others to stop smoking...

I have come a long way in my journey with guilt. I still have days that I regret having smoked. I see people in public, driving their cars, with a cigarette in their hand. I can smell it on others when passing by. I see people hovering, in the designated smoking areas. I desperately want to talk to them. I want to grab the person and ask them to stop smoking. Ask them to stop smoking for their health. Stop smoking for their loved one’s health. I do not want them to face the challenges I have experienced. However, it is not practical to grab a stranger in public. It could get me arrested! But you get the idea...

If you have lungs, you are at risk

I am happy that today’s society finds smoking as something not desirable. When I smoked, I was sometimes annoyed by the rules and regulations of where I could smoke. Now? I am grateful to not have to be near it.

I am no longer ashamed to say, “I have lung cancer.” When asked, I simply reply, “Does it matter?” I take the opportunity to explain to the person asking, how hurtful the question can be and why. I take the opportunity to explain to them, they too are at risk of lung cancer. Anyone can have lung cancer. You do not have to have smoked.

If you have lungs, you are at risk.

Editor’s Note: We are extremely saddened to say that on May 7, 2021, Ronda Beaty passed away. Ronda’s advocacy efforts and writings continue to reach many. She will be deeply missed.