The Many Smells of the Holidays (and Me)

Holidays bring countless things to be thankful for. And sense memory, for many of us, is at its peak. That song comes on the radio and brings us back to a special time. A scent wafts into the room and reminds us of something wonderful... I would never have expected to be most grateful, however, for the odors that I could not smell.

Body odor, an unexpected side effect

My first winter holiday seasons after I began my cancer treatment were, of course, markedly different from my pre-diagnosis holidays in a variety of ways. Some of them were obvious to those around me: I was fatigued, nauseous, and otherwise burdened by the visceral effects of chemotherapy. And there was something else that began to infringe upon my otherwise nostalgia-fueled experience: chemo made me smell bad.

Apparently, it was just me who noticed, though I always suspected that my friends and family were just being kind. But as I progressed with my chemotherapy month after month, I became increasingly repulsed by my own body odor. I must have changed deodorants a dozen times before settling on a brand that I felt adequately masked my scent without also driving away my loved ones with their heavily astringent perfumes or overpowering alcohol base.

Switching from one treatment to another

In fact, it seems as though I had just found that sweet spot with deodorant, balanced with more frequent showers and new soaps when I got news that my cancer showed signs of progression. Chemo stopped abruptly; I took a few weeks off of treatment while my system cleared itself out and we prepared for the next phase. My new medication would be completely different, administered as a daily pill to target a rare mutation found in my latest biopsy. It would have new side effects, and I would have to adjust accordingly. By the time I began the new regiment, fall was upon us. The new side effects began to kick in just as the holidays were rolling around the corner.

Suddenly I'm body odor free

What I was not expecting was that one of the side effects would be a lack of body odor. At first, I was just pleasantly surprised to smell relatively normal. Gone were the toxins I always felt were being purged after my chemo infusions. After holiday seasons scented by chemo, I was grateful to smell more like my old self. It was cause enough for celebration, a special present just for me. But then I realized, astonishingly, that I no longer generated anything even remotely like B.O.

The targeted drug worked on EGFR mutations, or Epidermal Growth Factor Receptors. An unpleasant side effect of this was an acne rash that gradually began spreading over my entire body, scalp to toes. My skin was quite dry, constantly in need of various lotions or creams, and for whatever reason, it no longer supported the unmitigated growth of surface bacteria that caused unpleasant smells to form. I also rarely perspired, though when I did it still never caused a foul smell.

Finding the small, silver linings

I stopped wearing deodorant completely and nobody could tell. The targeted drug did not work very well for me and was replaced by another, then another, each of which was designed for a similar range of mutations, and I continued to be odor-free. I'm not sure if this is permanent -- my oncologist could not find anything in the literature about this as a side effect, but for me, it has been a good one.

Whether the condition lasts, I am always going to consider it a special holiday gift. Something to remind me that there are silver linings in the small things, and that not every side effect is going to be bad.

Editor’s Note: We are extremely saddened to say that on October 21, 2018, Jeffrey Poehlmann passed away. Jeffrey’s advocacy efforts and writing continue to reach many. He will be deeply missed.