Here We Go...Year 5
Last updated: May 2018
The magic number, or so they say. I'm not really sure who "they" are but I'm guessing experts.
Diagnosis Can Be a Dark Time
In the beginning, upon receiving this devastating news, I was a non-stop researcher. I was determined there had to be a cure and I was going to find it. I've always been driven that way. First person in my family to graduate from college, first child to have the grandchild as a single mother, and was the director of HR for a subprime finance company of about 100 employees by the age of 23. Where did all this drive get me? Here. On this site, talking about how I went from managing a top hotel in the United States (according to TripAdvisor) to barely scraping by on SSDI.
At first, I was furious. My whole life seemed to have been pointless up until then. What was I really working towards? A better life for my daughter. But finding out you have stage 4 lung cancer, not even a month after your 33rd birthday, can spiral you into a dark place.
Starting to See the Light
So, in the beginning, it was dark. But, after the first year, I started to see light. Not the "I'm going to live forever light", but the, "what a beautiful sunset" light. I realized I had been so driven that I was ignoring the many blessings I had. My daughter didn't care if she had the coolest bike on the block. She wanted to spend time with me. So, I quit researching and gave it to God. I know this is all beyond my control, and now I thank God every day for the second chance He gave me to LIVE my life, not just work towards the next big thing.
Happy Lung Cancer Awareness Month! What does self-advocacy mean to you?