Tell us about your symptoms and treatment experience. Take our survey here.

A pair of feet overlook a cliff, while a friend waves from the bottom

Free Falling

I have never considered myself someone who is afraid of heights. I love to go to the top of the tallest building around when visiting a new place and see the panorama below. I live in Chicago and have no trouble ascending to the highest floor of the Willis (formerly Sears) Tower and walking out onto the glass-floored lookout.

However, I have always been terrified of “free fall” situations. I detest roller-coasters because I can’t stand that moment when the bottom drops out. I have never wanted to skydive or bungee jump. I even hate water slides that drop suddenly!

Going out of my comfort zone for my cancerversary

On my 6th cancerversary, I traveled to Mexico for a family vacation and we decided to visit the ancient Mayan ruins of the city-state of Coba, located less than two hours away from where we were staying in Playa del Carmen. These ruins, dating back to 100 A.D., are dominated by a large pyramid that is 138 feet tall and was the heart of the ancient city. Of course, climbing this pyramid is the thing to do. It’s 120 steps — this doesn’t sound like a lot, but the steps are very, very steep, and seem much steeper going down than going up.

Climbing to new heights for a glimpse of the view

While I didn’t find going up overly challenging, once I turned around and looked down, it was a completely different story. You see, this was not exactly a safe descent from the top of a lookout. There were crumbling steps, no guardrails, and nothing to hold onto except a rope that was loosely anchored up and down the middle of the pyramid. I soon realized that using the rope would not work for me since many others were doing the same, and it jerked back and forth constantly.

I ended up scrambling down the pyramid in a crab-like fashion, scraping my left leg in the process. When I finally made it back to the bottom, random bystanders clapped along with the rest of my family (that’s how I knew it definitely wasn’t a graceful descent). Our guide ordered an “auto-rickshaw” (basically a bicycle with a seat for a passenger) to get me back to the tour van since my leg was bleeding from the scrape.

Completely wild, different experience

Was I proud that I climbed the pyramid? Oh yes! Would I do it again? No way! It veered a little too much into the “free fall” category that I don’t like. I have now realized that the potential for free fall is just as scary to me as certain gravity-defying drops. I looked down from that pyramid and could picture myself tumbling head over heels to the bottom; it was completely different from all other ascents via safe stairs or elevators to high spots I had make previously.

Lung cancer feels like a free fall

Why am I talking about this in an article on lung cancer though? After giving this experience a lot of thought, I realized that it was a perfect way to have celebrated 6 years of living with stage IV lung cancer. Being diagnosed was like being thrown into a free fall situation without a safety net.

Through learning about my diagnosis and getting involved in advocacy work, I took some control back over my life, giving me a way to deal with fearful heights in a more manageable way. I’m still here, 6 years later, maybe a little more damaged (“scraped leg”) than before, but still living and loving life.

By providing your email address, you are agreeing to our privacy policy.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The LungCancer.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Join the conversation

Please read our rules before commenting.

Community Poll

Have you taken our In America Survey yet?