How to Find Friends

I started a self-grown journey in May 2021. I was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer six years ago. I gave a lot of thought to this self-development journey at this stage of my life and believed it was worth the time and the effort. I'm taking Jon and Missy's course "Lifebook Online". I learned a lot, especially about having friends.

I was not social, and even I was anti-social

I was consciously decided not to have friends when I was very young. When the universities reopened after ten years' closure in China in the 70s, the pressure to go to universities was extremely high. Since there were not many universities to accommodate students, the competitions were fierce. The young people, like me, were not only studied very hard but also trying everything else to be ahead of others.

I was 13 at the time, and it was the age to have friends, but under the environment of so many intrigues, gloat, and jealousy, I consciously decided not to have friends.

Nevertheless, I paid a huge price for it.

Intrigued by Jon and Missy's course

When I took the course of Jon and Missy, I did a self-assessment including 12 categories, like Health and Fitness, Intellectuality, Financial Life, Family Life, Social Life... I have the lowest score in my Social Life category. That's not surprising, but I decided to work on it.

To make a long story short, since I have no ideas about finding friends, I combined Jon and Missy's experience and my wishful thinking to form my friends' criteria.

1. Friends who are "givers" not "takers" (i.e., they are there for you no matter what): I'm not a taker, that's for sure, but I can’t have "givers" as friends because I'm not a "giver". Since I was a kid, I was never consistently a “giver”, except under particular circumstances. I don't expect to have "givers" as friends.
2. Friends who are traders (i.e., want to exchange something from you): I'm very conscious when some people approach me with some purpose. I am aware of this type of friend and never let my guard down!
3. Friends of gratitude, hope, kindness, compassion, and dependability: I’m attracted to such friends. I have experienced such beautiful traits among (lung) cancer friends. Cancer gives us an incredible lesson in life, and I'm grateful.
4. Friends who are independent and intelligent: Intellectuality doesn't mean university degrees, but the person is full of love to life and has their own opinion even if they are different from mine.

Friends enrich our lives

I realized that I have already had many friends of (lung) cancer patients, but I wasn't aware of it. I dream of having friends; together, we enrich each others' lives and uplift each others' spirits.