The Importance Of Friends During Lung Cancer
Spouses will leave, boyfriends may flee, but your friends will hold you together when you think you can no longer do it. As of now, I'm blessed to have both of my parents still alive. Especially since I am a single mother. My daughter will be able to drive in January and is getting my car to use.
It's been hard being away from home
I've lived on St. Simons Island over the last 14 years. I've worked with the same man off and on for the last 14 years. I have always been there for him since I've been here. I was 26 and Karley was 18 months. It seems so weird to me that she considers this her hometown because it is. John and I didn't grow up here in this tight little community. We had our own hometowns...a little bit larger, but the same one. So after 26 years, I moved down here and went into a state of depression for so long.
I missed my family and friends in Atlanta and I missed the city lights, restaurants, 24-hour pharmacies. There was so much I missed. And daycare on the island was scarce and or extremely expensive. I found somewhere we could afford but they wouldn't take Karley until she was 18 months old.
So, exactly at 18 months, we loaded up the Uhaul and headed to the beach. When you go from one end of the spectrum to another, it can wreck you mentally.
Reflecting on my career path
I began working with the man I still help out. I used to wear business casual clothes every day. It's what I was used to and what I felt comfortable in. I wore heels every day, at a beach bed and breakfast. My boss used to get onto me for those heels every time. He complained it would wake up the guests. So, I would tiptoe in the morning. I was hired as his assistant and ended up as guest services at the B&B. I can't complain, I did get a job my first trip down to visit. Taking my resume into a bar proved helpful. The next day he called me and asked me to complete an excel spreadsheet.
I guess I passed that test with flying colors. I originally didn't make what I thought I was going to. But I worked my way up to the accounting office. I was friends with the other girl working at the front desk and the bookkeeper. Yeah, they both moved. The bookkeeper said she needed help so I was sent to help her. She was quickly showing me everything to the point I was thinking, "What is she doing all day?"
Everyone I got close to moved
Well, she was moving to Canada. It took me by surprise. She did give me a raise before leaving but I was basically left in the wind. Luckily I still had my friend at the front desk while we were building another hotel. I taught myself to use QuickBooks. I never took an accounting class in my life, and I am now running several companies.
When my friend at the front desk moved, I got an assistant. She and I became so close. I was a bridesmaid at her wedding. But she too moved away with her new family. I still had friends at the new hotel where I was now working. Everyone I got close to moved.
It's been hard finding true friends
Luckily, I still had a few friends here and there. One by one they would move on. I'm now down to two really great friends. Having lung cancer and being a single mom is no easy task. John helped me out a lot in the beginning.
Now, I have a few ride or die chicks. They both would check in on me and help me by taking me to the doctor or ER when needed. I eventually was able to slowly start letting John get back to his own life and I deal with mine.
Friends have your back no matter what
Friends listen, they have your back, they don't judge and will do anything in the world just to help you. So, without my family here, my friends have been like my knights in shining armor.
Especially since I don't work anymore, it's super hard to meet people and have friends. I don't know how I would do lung cancer without them.
Do you find that staying zen through your lung cancer diagnosis has helped you in your journey?