Establishing Relationships

Establishing a relationship takes time, skill, and effort; so imagine the steps when you’re diagnosed with lung cancer (or any cancer)? How and what is the best practice to form relationships when diagnosed with cancer? I think it’s fitting to say people want to relate to open ears and mellow hearts. You want to build some form of common ground with those willing to put some effort into a relationship. It’s not easy to find those components mentioned, and sometimes we find ourselves settling for what we do have.

Familiarity

When my mother started treatment, she met a woman who was diagnosed with emphysema. They began a friendly conversation that felt like a common ground of coping with similar circumstances. Though they shared commonalities my mom felt this new friend understood her anxieties at the time with all she was dealing with. I could tell my mother was a bit bothered, as they exchanged numbers but my mother would do more of the calling to check on her, and how she was coping; The same was not shared so much with this lady. I think though you bond with people in similar situations, not everyone is fully there to build on a friendship, it can sometimes be who can hold your ear in listening at that moment in time, which may have been the case here. My mom stopped calling and moved on with her own struggles in coping.

Same process

Just like any friendly relationship, you build on getting to know people, and whether or not you wish to carry a relationship. So what are the rules when you meet someone with who you think you can build a friendship? Well, it depends, in the case, I just mentioned my mom and this lady exchanged phone numbers to continue hearing each other out; though things can change within an instant, it still shows the same process of being friendly with strangers and what comes with it. This is not always the case but should you totally let your guard down because you met a friend at the hospital in an hour's time? Should you agree to carry a bond outside of this building? I don’t think many people look at being genuinely friendly with these specific rules, but then when things don’t go as they expected it leaves for a “what just happened” effect.

Limits

Though everyone is so different and just like many relationships it is a building pattern, and though you don’t know your timeline with everything that is taking place, you may wonder does it pay to put energy into something that may fizz out. Again that is what establishing a relationship is about, this isn’t about a romantic bond, simply finding someone who can relate to what you have happening in real-time. Sometimes certain rules that are followed in the world that are more stringent can easily be modified for those who are ill, as there can be a little flexibility on those t’s that should be crossed and the I’s that were not dotted.

So now what? Well, you do what you feel is right in your gut, whether it’s being that ear for your fellow comrade in lung disease, or him/her being your rescuer in hearing you out - just live and be!

The time to fight is now, with integrity, grace, hope, and a smile...when you feel like it.