Update on Dating With Lung Cancer

Everyone knows dating with cancer is hard, especially when you have children at home. I swear I've kissed enough frogs to be one myself. 

My daughter moved to college this fall, and I've been so lonely. I don't have a best friend or someone to share my good times with, so I joined a dating site again. 

Cancer and unexpected connections

Financially, it is not realistic for me to live on my own. Even if two people with cancer were to live together, how do you make it?

For us single mothers who were diagnosed young, it is impossible to save. Currently, I'm losing over $1,000 a month after adding most of my expenses. I eat Ritz crackers for dinner sometimes because it is what I can afford.

This second time on the same dating site, I was extremely blunt. I want that best friend who can help me and love me enough regardless of the cancer. 

I finally met a sweet guy online. He's offered for me not to pay rent so I can catch up on bills. But for some reason, I'm terrified.

I wouldn't say I liked moving from Atlanta to St. Simons. Now, I'm having a hard time leaving St. Simons as he lives in Jacksonville, FL. 

If you've never given it a chance, it is totally worth it. Just be yourself, and you may end up finding someone who gets you. 

Love and insecurities

In the beginning, I got the typical "Hey beautiful," etc., from guys online. But cancer makes me feel ugly because I feel like it is waiting to kill me, and my self-esteem is so low. But almost a month ago, someone liked me there and sent me a message.

I made it clear upfront about my diagnosis and was extremely blunt about what a relationship with me would be like. God and my family come first. I've made that very clear. 

I will call him "Phoenix". In my profile, I specified that I had cancer and the seriousness of the disease.

There is no way I wanted people to look at my picture, like so many others, and think that I'm fine. I had to make it crystal clear that I was looking for that best friend to spend my life with.

I have a lot of faith in God working things out in the way they are supposed to go. Therefore, I just let Him take control. I had quite a few people message me, but nothing felt right. 

Then, almost a month ago, Phoenix messaged about how he hates dating around and how he feels like a lot of profile pics aren't current. I had mentioned God, and he also wanted to get closer to God. I was surprised and a bit leary of him.

Going on a first date

On our first date, we went near the FL/GA line. The restaurant was totally awful and bland, so that put a damper on things. 

I figured it would end there, but then I came up with the idea of going to a haunted trail. Halloween is my birthday, so I love that kind of stuff. 

He was such a gentleman and paid for everything, including the haunted house. I was glad because I'm constantly broke because of cancer. 

After that date, he came to my house, and we talked all night. I showed him around St. Simons. He was so interested in everything and asked so many questions.

Nurturing intimacy and connection

We are both older, and intimacy is a lot more than sex. We can't stay off the phone with each other and never ran out of subjects to talk about. It was uncanny how much we were alike. 

So, it's working out, and I totally feel at home with him. I really can't wait to see what the future holds for us.