Angry With Myself

By yvette11

I was diagnosed with Non-small lung cancer in October of last year stage 4.

Recent emotions

I've had multiple CT scans. I don't understand how they didn't catch it earlier. I'm starting to get very depressed. I stopped smoking cigarettes for two months. Then something happened. I got angry and went to the store and brought a pack of cigarettes. I am so angry with myself right now.

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Richard Faust Admin
Hi yvette11. First, let me say that no one asks for lung cancer. The swirl of emotions around a diagnosis, including anger are understandable, but know that many people here understand just how hard quitting smoking can be and the stress and anxiety surrounding the cancer certainly don't help. I want to share with you this Q&A about dealing with anxiety after a diagnosis, which includes additional helpful links: <a href='https://lungcancer.net/q-and-a/anxiety-after-diagnosis/' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer nofollow'>https://lungcancer.net/q-and-a/anxiety-after-diagnosis/</a>. This community is here for you with support and information. Wishing you the best. Richard (LungCancer.net Team)
Alisa Moderator
Hi <inline-mention user-id="2363061" username="yvette11"/> , quitting any habit is so hard, and it can take more than one try. Please try to be gentle to yourself, you deserve compassion from yourself as well as from others. I was back and forth to my doctor for a year before I was sent for a scan, I understand your frustration. Please feel free to share more with us if you'd like, we are here to support each other. Warmly, Alisa, <a href='http://LungCancer.net' target='_blank' rel='noopener noreferrer nofollow'>LungCancer.net</a> Team
wiiliat2
I enjoy reading everyone's comments and feel your good moments as well as the bad ones. I had trouble breathing in Feb 2020 and went to emergency. Doctor had me take x rays and then came to my room and floored me. "You have something on your left lung"!!!! Wow! I went to get scans and a few weeks later I was sitting in my oncologists'_office looking at a picture of my left lung on his computer. Stage 4 and off we started in radiation treatment for 5 days a week for 6 weeks and chemo once a week. As you are all aware...this was exactly at the time of the country shut down and pandemic. It was a nightmare trying to navigate through my daily appointments with the whole world in a panic and nurses and technicians treating you with extra care but also observing rules of social distancing and making each treatment very hard to get done. After 5 weeks,I finally net with oncologist who said tumor had shrunk and I'm in immunology therapy every 2 weeks and feel great. No side effects and breathing back to normal. Hope my energy continues to increase every day and can get back to usual activities.
1. Yolanda Brunson-Sarrabo Moderator
 Hello <inline-mention user-id="2349317" username="wiiliat2"/> I'm so sorry you had to go through this especially in these unprecedented times. This has been so very challenging for so many people whether in receiving their treatments or getting access to their health care providers due to earlier shut-downs. Great news hearing the tumor has decreased in size. We wish you the very best!