Seeking Mental or Emotional Help

By Juanita Segura

2 min read

I’ve been living with lung cancer for 7 years now and through these 7 years I never thought I needed counseling or a therapist. I thought to myself “I got this, I’m a strong woman” but even the strongest of the strongest needs help.

So, I continued my journey living with lung cancer without speaking with someone to let my emotions out, but it got worse and my life turned dark when I lost my mother 4 years ago.

Losing my mother was devistating

Losing her was worse than living with lung cancer and my depression just kept getting worse and worse. My oncologist kept suggesting for me to go see a therapist and I kept saying no and used the excuse that “I’m ok” but I really wasn’t.

It wasn’t until one day I went to go see her for my 3 month’s checkup that she asked me “how are you doing” and I broke down and sobbed like a baby. She then asked me “how often do you cry?” and I told her “every day” and that’s when it hit me, and I knew I needed counseling.

You don't need to face this alone

I’m sharing this because not only being diagnosed with lung cancer is a big blow to us and our family; it causes stress, anxiety, and depression. But while we are still alive and breathing other unfortunate events can happen and can make it much harder for us to cope with. Maybe just maybe if I started some type of counseling 7 years ago, I would be able to cope with my depression much better.

So, if you are going through depression, I highly recommend for you to seek some type of counseling. You are not alone trust me many of our lung cancer sisters and brothers understand we’ve all gone through it. Speak with your oncologist first, they will either recommend or can reach out to the therapist and have them contact you to set up an appointment. Also, your oncologist knows which therapist to recommend or contact that specializes in patients dealing with cancer. My oncologist had the therapist contact me and set up an appointment and she counsel cancer patients!

Don’t be stubborn like me, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Trust me when I say seeking a therapist will change your life. You’ll start to feel much better and see the world brighter.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The LungCancer.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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Richard Faust Community Admin
Hi <inline-mention username="Juanita Segura" user-id="2356142"/>. Thank you for your willingness to share this. So many people try to go it alone, but, as you said, there is no weakness in acknowledging the need for some help. Plus, cancer treatments can actually cause chemical changes (on top of the obvious emotional toll) in the brain that can lead to depression, which is not likely to get better on its own and is only going to be discovered if a person seeks help. Newer treatments like immunotherapy and targeted therapy, thankfully, seem to have less depression than traditional chemotherapy (see: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31056371/#:~:text=Results%3A%20Chemotherapies%20were%20given%20most,and%2041.1%25%20had%20significant%20distress.), but the depression risk is still very real. Best, Richard (LungCancer.net Team)
Yolanda Brunson-Sarrabo Moderator
It's so expected for people to go through life's challenges like rockstars, but that's not always the case, if at all. Life can bring a storm of challenges and sometimes back to back. I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your mom. When I lost my mom, I didn't know how I'd make it through, and then with back-to-back losing friends and other family members; It can be a lot, but it's most definitely okay to speak with the pros on the simple aspects of your life. Having an ear with no judgment is a great step forward. Thank you for sharing as I know many people can relate to this. Best!
inthemoment Member
I agree with getting counseling. I have been in counseling since I was diagnosed and going through chemotherapy. I've been cancer free for 4 years. The feeling that it may come back never goes away, especially when it's close to the time I get my scan. I try to deal on a day to day basis. It isn't always possible though. I've gotten involved in a lot of activities. My favorite is Silver Sneakers and Active Older Adult Programs through my local YMCA. It's ironic to realize how many people have had cancer and are in remission or treatment - it helps to share stories and experiences. 
1. Alisa Moderator
 <inline-mention username="inthemoment" user-id="2362554"/> Fantastic to hear cancer free for 4 years. I'm a long term survivor and I still worry and get anxious at times. I try hard to live in the moment, but I'm a work in progress. And like you said, it is especially challenging with the losses we face in our community. Thankfully there are many advances and positive outcomes, more now than when I was diagnosed 22 years ago. It does help to share stories and experiences and I'm glad you are a part of our community! Warmly, Alisa
vikkr Member
Thank you Juanita. You're absolutely right that we somehow feel like we must be strong and handle everything. I found myself a very angry and unhappy person and pushed people away and shut them out. I sought the advice of my PCP she gave me tools that I could use to shift my focus, things that helped calm my mind, help me sleep better and find the good positive things in this crazy world. I think for me, as a woman and a mother we feel we have to carry the world on our shoulders and never break never admit we need help or show vulnerability and cry. We always seem to take care of everyone else EXCEPT ourselves and that is a mistake. I wish you the best and thank you for sharing.