My Christmas Tree Is Still Up

I'm sure that anyone who walked into my house would ask, "Why is your Christmas tree up?" This is a complex question. In a way, it's honoring my dad's tradition. It has a mixture of Karley's homemade ornaments, gifts, the bright colored ornaments we picked out when she was 7, some of my dad's old ornaments, and the angel he always looked at after my scans.

My tree is a symbol of hope

I bought a brand new Christmas tree when they were on sale last year at Michael's. It was my first tree since Karley's dad and I split up. I knew I would be getting rid of my old tree for 2022. I had no idea I would end up with my old tree, and my father's tree since it was so important to him.

In fact, he put his Christmas tree up in 2014 and he said he wouldn't take it down until my cancer was gone. It was the first year my scans came in showing the cancer was shrinking. We found out in the middle of December 2014, so to him it was a good luck charm. Or, maybe it was more than that. Christmas has always been a special time of year for our family. He would replace the lightbulbs but it always remained lit. Christmas never lost its magic.

Bringing my dad's Christmas tree home

The tree did come down this spring. I wanted my dad's Christmas tree because it meant so much to us, especially the angel.

When I saw his tree still up in his home, nothing had been touched. Once again, I felt that familiar sharp pain in my stomach and chest, that longing for someone who is no longer here. I disassembled the Christmas tree and it was time for it to come down. My dad hadn't been here for the scan that showed no evidence of disease, not even in blood SUV. It was at 1.8 so to me, it was symbolic.

I carefully wrapped the ornaments and the bells, because "every time you hear a bell ring, an angel gets their wings".  The angel rod up front with me as I loaded the entire Christmas tree and decor into my car, my dad's old car. When I arrived home, it was around Thanksgiving, so right at my 9 year cancerversary. I unloaded the tree and began thinking, I have this beautiful new tree I bought on my own. Then my old tree the cats climbed on and my dad's tree. But, I don't have a big enough home for two trees, let alone 3.

Giving my old tree away

I went to Facebook Marketplace and posted a picture of my old tree and offered it for free. A sweet young woman going through a divorce needed one and couldn't afford it. So, I held it for her along with some ornaments. She had 3 kids at home so I made sure she got 3 bells so she could tell them about the angels.

On my post, someone kept tagging an individual I didn't know. But I didn't pay that much attention because the old was gone. I began thinking, "Am I just going to put my dad's tree in the attic?" Is that what he would want?

A miracelous encounter and new friendship

As I was thinking about this, I got a message from a second grade school teacher needing a Christmas tree for her classroom. Her father had passed away just after mine. We began talking about how our fathers loved Christmas, especially playing Santa Claus. It brought them such joy. Her old tree finally gave out and she didn't want to break her tradition of putting up Christmas trees as it is such a magical time for both of our families. Also, Karley was in second grade when I was diagnosed.

The Lord was talking to me so I offered her my dad's tree. It would never bring him back, and why hold onto something that could bring so much joy to children, just like he always did. We made arrangements and she picked it up. With tears running down both of our cheeks, she said, "I promise I will send a picture each year of my second grade class around the tree".

She did not disappoint. The day school let out for Christmas, she sent a picture of so many smiling second graders in their PJs in front of the tree. Yes, I cried. She did as well. But I know our fathers were both looking down on a newfound friendship and the pure joy we were giving these children for Christmas. It was the best decision I probably made all year. I knew it was what dad would've wanted.

Honor our past while looking to the future

Why is my Christmas tree still up? I guess I'm honoring a tradition to an extent. I have scans at the end of March. It's coming down after that.

The Lord works in mysterious ways. He made something happen for both of us to feel good inside and feel like our fathers would've been proud.