A woman on her phone ignoring a calendar, medication and clock

Roaming Aimlessly

Last updated: October 2021

To put it quite frankly, I feel as though I am roaming through life recently aimlessly. Don’t get me wrong - I am so very grateful for every single day, but I am roaming. I am home most days without an agenda, and it has really been getting to me. I attempt to accomplish things around the house and usually end accomplishing nothing and still in PJs at 4:00 in the afternoon wondering where the day went and realize I wasted it. Somedays I have no idea what day it even is much less what time it is. I never even wear a watch anymore. I used to be so organized and in tune with everything and it’s like now I have lost it all.

Where is my purpose?

I need a schedule for myself. I need a schedule to help me focus better and to give me some sort of sense of accomplishment. I fight fatigue and chemo brain and the mental battle and all the other things and it’s not only a full-time job but exhausting.

Creating a new routine for myself

I have actually researched this and have found that stay-at-home moms have to have some sort of schedule with every single day for their entire family. I was able to find some ideas on how they plan their weeks from meals to cleaning schedules to wake-up schedules to getting dressed.

This seems so easy, maybe even pointless and silly to some, but I am at a place in my life where I need the structure. I need the discipline. Here are my top ideas that I plan to implement in my personal life and thought I would share in case others are experiencing the same.

Set alarms for sleeping

Research shows that it is good for our bodies to go to sleep at the same time each day and to wake up at the same time each day. I am so bad about staying up half the night as I fight with insomnia only to sleep until 9:00 or 10:00 the next morning and then do it all over again the next day. This situation has caused major havoc on my husband’s ability to get a good night’s rest as I am blundering around the house dropping things and making noise.

Organzing household chores

Organize household chores to be done scattered throughout the week. Sweep on Monday, clean the bathrooms on Tuesday, dust on Wednesday, laundry on Thursday, and so on. If you have a big family, maybe you need to do a load a day, but plan for it and schedule it. Literally, write it down.

Plan meals in advance

Grab a calendar and plan your meals out for the next week. Grocery shop accordingly. If you plan to only cook twice a week, plan out where the other meals will come from.

Get out of the PJs

Plan a deadline each day to be dressed for the day.

Schedule your routine

Schedule everything that you possibly can and soon it will become a habit. Write down your day from the time you wake up until you go to bed. If you want to exercise, write it down on the day and time that you want to accomplish that. If you want to bake a cake, schedule it. If you want to complete a craft, schedule it. This seems very strict, but it is absolutely necessary for me.

Set goals, but be kind to yourself

I have been just living on a whim really. I dress or not. I eat when I want or sometimes not at all. I might exercise or I might not - most of the time not. I buy groceries and then don’t feel like cooking and we end up getting takeout while the fresh produce ruins in the fridge.

I think it is important to set reasonable goals. I likely can’t “schedule” to run 4 miles tomorrow when I can barely walk to the mailbox, but I can get on the stationary bike for 15 minutes twice a day. I can’t schedule to clean my whole house when I don’t have the energy to even put clothes on some days. I can’t expect to go to bed at a decent hour when I literally have slept all day.

All of this is my own fault. I can’t blame anyone or anything. I control this piece of my life and I have let it spiral out of control. Even though I am home every day, I still need structure and some kind of schedule in my life. It’s so easy to just let the day go by without purpose, but I know for a fact that I would feel better with that sense of accomplishment by simply getting dressed and not still being in PJs from two nights ago. It’s time to stop roaming around aimlessly.

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