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Relationships, Dating, and Stage 4 Lung Cancer

I cannot begin to describe how aggravating this part of surviving is. After all, who wants to have a serious relationship with someone with cancer? Who wants to listen to the occasional emotional breakdowns or go to the hospital with you for every little thing?

Dating with cancer can be tricky

Not me, but I am that patient and it’s so frustrating. Yes, I can get a date. But, that person isn’t in it for the long haul. They just want to have “fun”. And sometimes “fun” and cancer don’t see eye to eye.

So the challenge is to find someone who knows your diagnosis, risks, etc. and still wants to lay around and watch TV, or go shopping, or doesn’t mind spending the night in the hospital, or running errands when you can’t.

Well, living in a resort community where people just come for vacations or to retire, it’s awful. I’ve literally given up. I got tired of dating and wanted just someone to share my life with me. But, that’s the kicker. It’s virtually impossible.

Looking for someone to share my life with

And the thing is, we are all dying. You could go out and be hit by a car and die tomorrow and I outlive you! But people don’t think in these terms. You’re invincible….until you’re not. People just know I’m gonna die one day, do they think they are immune or immortal? I don’t know. I do know I wish this perception would change. Yeah, you may have to spend the night in the hospital with me once a year while I wash your clothes every day. No relationship comes without some kind of inconvenience. So, I may have given up, but maybe our culture could look outside of the box a little for future cancer patients and give them a chance.

Like I said, we’re all dying. When will your time be up?


Has lung cancer had an impact on your relationships? What has your experience with dating been like since your lung cancer diagnosis? Share with the community in the comments or by sharing your story here.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The LungCancer.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Comments

  • Samantha Mixon moderator author
    1 year ago

    Pete,

    I totally understand what you’re going through. Cancer treatment totally changes your body and mind. After a while, you just want to be normal again but it’s impossible. I’ve been through a few relationships like that.

    After 18 years, I’m sure it’s a huge adjustment for her too. Maybe some counseling or online support groups would help. LUNGevity has one specifically for caregivers, which would be for her.

    I never know if it’ll work out. It’s been about 5 months now but I always have that fear that he won’t accept me for me now. I don’t look or even feel like I have cancer except the fatigue. So then I feel I’m lazy. It’s rough. I have a blog samlmixon.blogspot.com if you want to read or reach out.

    I’ll be 39 next month. Some people don’t get it unless they’re in your shoes.

    I always told people right off the bat I had stage 4 cancer if they asked me out. Of course they didn’t care for a few months. Then, something happens and it scares them and then it’s over. It’s a very lonely road we walk. I really wish I could help more.

  • Puppydog1
    1 year ago

    If you have cancer, especially stage 3 or 4 dating is not going to be a priority. Some of the topics that are brought up on this web sight are almost laughable.

  • Margot moderator
    1 year ago

    Hi @Puppydog1, Thanks for your thoughts on this topic. As lives, priorities, wishes, and cancer diagnoses really vary by person, we like to provide a wide array of content; some may find some more applicable to their lives than others. We often see those in the community speaking of dating and relationships, though of course it may not apply to all! Best, Margot, LungCancer.net Team

  • Samantha Mixon moderator author
    1 year ago

    Hi puppydog1. I actually wrote this article and have since met someone. I have been living with stage 4 lc for nearly 6 years. It doesn’t mean my life is over. It may not be a priority to you, but it was for me. So many reasons beyond just dating.

    I’m so sorry you find this topic laughable, it isn’t for me or for many other stage 4 patients. We have groups about this. Maybe you shouldn’t read my posts.

    Best of luck,
    Samantha

  • PeteConaty
    1 year ago

    Samantha I’m very happy you do have a person in your life now. Hopefully it will work out. Now that said, I’m wondering about my own life. I haven’t been feeling right lately and l been a little upset with my body functions. My lady of 18 years just don’t understands what’s going on. I get mad at things and she comes bad with move out! What the hell? I don’t need hearing that. I’m the one who’s not happy and pissed I have this cancer. I think all I want is a person who understands and not fight back. Not easy with cancer!

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