Damaged Goods

It is with great sadness that we inform you of the passing of Lisa Moran on June 6, 2023.  As a cherished member of LungCancer.net and a source of inspiration, Lisa generously and bravely shared her journey, touching and inspiring many in our community. Her courage fuels our mission, and her legacy will endure in our work. Her absence will be deeply felt, and we extend our heartfelt condolences to all who held her dear. We consider it a privilege that Lisa allowed us into her life, leaving an indelible mark on our hearts and our community.

I've self-isolated since March 2020 to keep myself safe from exposure to COVID-19. I started iv chemotherapy in July 2020. The only time I left my house was to go to the cancer center for infusions or to the hospital for labs or scans. I managed to attend one social event at the end of August. I competed in a pinup contest at a very large outdoor annual car show. I still wore my mask and kept my distance from others when possible. It was something I had planned on doing for years. Not even a pandemic could keep me from participating. I never heard of any cases resulting from the event.

How do you meet people in a pandemic?

I was very weak and ill from chemo throughout September into October. My energy has improved but my immune system is still compromised. I’ve been careful in keeping my social bubble very small and only having contact with a handful of friends while wearing masks.

I put my profile on a dating app since meeting people in person wasn’t happening with the pandemic. I struggled with being upfront about my medical conditions. Should I mention it in my profile? Should I wait to bring it up until someone shows interest? Who is going to read my profile and still be interested after learning I’m living with terminal lung cancer? I decided to be open and honest about my medical apocalypse. I wasn’t looking for a life partner. I just wanted to maybe find someone with similar interests, keep it online and to texts and messages until it was safe to meet in person and then eventually go out on a date or two.

I'm not here to be inspirational

My friend and fellow lung cancer survivor, Linnea Olson, recently posted on social media about her online dating experience. She said it perfectly and now I can totally relate. “Online dating. When being inspirational isn’t what you’re after.” If you have never been on one of these dating apps or sites, new profiles get a lot of attention. You’re fresh meat. But it wasn’t the kind of attention I was expecting. I was receiving messages telling me they were sorry for my circumstances, offering prayers, and telling me how strong I must be.

Just like Linnea, that was not what I was looking for.

Online dating is a completely new territory

Out of all the replies, there was one that stood out. It wasn’t a message of sympathies or apologies for my diagnoses. It was a kind heart that actually read my full profile in addition to looking at my photos and was still interested in me despite my plight. It’s proof that I’m not unwanted damaged goods. It's proof that maybe my person is out there and maybe he found me.

Dating during COVID-19 has been interesting without the in-person interactions. It's caused the normal dating timeline to get jumbled. It's completely new, different, and exciting territory that I will never be able to compare to any previous relationship, ever. I’m happy that some people still shop in the scratch and dent section.