A Life Well Lived (Part 2)

Read the beginning of Dusty's story in A Life Well Lived (Part 1).

Many of us spend countless hours doing advocacy work. This is not a job. It is a calling. The reward is rarely monetary. If you can make money advocating, that’s great.

However, most advocates serve the lung cancer community as unpaid volunteers. It is a labor of love. I have been an advocate for nearly 15 years. If I had been paid the equivalent of the annual salary I had earned prior to my diagnosis, I would have had approximately one million dollars. Yet, being able to advocate and know that your work is impacting people’s lives, that in itself is its own reward.

The high price of being a lung cancer advocate

Even so, there is a high price we pay to be a lung cancer advocate. It is a heart broken over and over. Yes, we need to protect our hearts; however, we also need to be tender and open to bond with others in the lung cancer community and elsewhere. If we do not allow ourselves to be tenderhearted with each other, we cannot be highly effective advocates.

Even though we have lost and will lose many in the lung cancer community, there is a deep, abiding bond among lung cancer patients and advocates that passes understanding. I will make an effort to be more mindful of not being too “on guard” with my lung cancer friends.

Karla was a dedicated lung cancer advocate

Back to my friend...Karla never attended a national advocacy event. Not many in the lung cancer advocacy community knew her. Nevertheless, Karla was an advocate through and through. She made a difference in our small organization and in the lives of the people in the communities we serve.

When her husband died, Karla designated my nonprofit as the beneficiary of memorial donations for Russ, in lieu of flowers. Since then, Karla has been a steadfast supporter of our organization. She spoke at charity events we hosted over the years. She also organized and hosted awareness events during Lung Cancer Awareness Month. Karla found creative ways to support us. She contributed through a payroll deduction plan and had her employer match her contributions.

Poignantly, just two days before her death, I interviewed Karla for the 2nd edition of “The ABCs of Lung Cancer for Patients and Advocates.” The focus of the interview was “Give” because Karla was a shining example of how everyone can give -- even those who are not wealthy.

Who could know that less than 48 hours after we spoke, Karla would be gone?

Caught completely by shock and surprise

We never know when or how we will depart this world, do we? Karla’s death took me -- and everyone -- by surprise. Karla’s three adult sons, their families, her sisters, and everyone who knew and loved Karla were completely caught off guard.

When Karla was murdered, her sister called to tell me, rather than me finding out on the news or social media. Karla’s sister had never called before, so I wondered why she was calling. With Karla, I had no reason to brace my heart. After all, Karla was not a lung cancer patient. I had just had a long talk with her two days prior.

I will remember Karla for her kindness

During Karla’s funeral service, one of her sons mentioned that rather than focus on the last 30 seconds of Karla’s life -- how her life tragically ended -- we should focus more on the 54 years Karla lived. She lived a good life, full of love and family.

I certainly will remember Karla for all her goodness and kindness.