Person pushing hard against a bulging closed door.

When You Dread To Hear Your Results

For the past four or five years, I never worried about my getting my results after a CT scan. I was always so confident that I would receive good results and for the most part I did. I would literally go to my scan appointment every three months with a cocky attitude.

But on January 12, 2022, I had a telemedicine appointment with my oncologist and she informed me that they saw a spot on my upper right lobe. But because I just got over Covid she was pretty much positive that it was Covid related and not progression.

I thought everything was okay

In November of 2019, I had my annual MRI and I was told I had two very small spots in my brain. So off I go, to go see the radiation oncologist. He informed me that it was very small and we are just going to monitor it, I said ok and off I go home to inform my husband and family. Now I go every 3 months for MRIs and the spots were always stable. That gave me my confidence and my cockiness back. Thankfully they’ve been stable for about 3 years now and thought I got this. So I thought!

Learning about my brain mets growth

Up until 2/21/2022, after my virtual appointment, I was told my brain mets grew. I knew the possibility of them growing and I knew that time will come. But the news hit me differently, it was a hit that had me in tears for days. It brought me down to where I started thinking about my granddaughter and future grandchildren.

So, the next step is for my radiation oncologist will take my case to the tumor board to discuss. My radiation oncologist told me back in 2019 that they weren't going to do SRS because they were very small and it will damage the good cells around them. They decided to monitor them by doing MRIs every three months. Meanwhile, I’ll have another MRI in 4 to 6 weeks to see if it’s growing. If so, we’ll schedule an appointment to zap them out.

I'm not going any where

Once I received this news I called my oncologist to have another CT scan to make sure the spot on my upper right lobe IS Covid related and not progression. I have to make sure of my peace of mind.

Receiving this devastating news brought tears and anxiety because I want to see my granddaughter grow up, I want to plan her quinceanera, I want to meet more grandchildren. I told myself I’M NOT GOING NOWHERE, I’M NOT GOING EFFING NOWHERE! I have more grandkids to meet, I have a few places I still want to travel to, and I need to get that free pink Cadillac!

Don't let yourself stay in a negative headspace

Yes, it’s ok to cry and feel bad for yourself at that moment of receiving devastating news, BUT DON’T STAY THERE! Pick yourself up, dust your shoulders off and tell lung cancer nice try but I WILL beat you once again and be victorious!

Take lung cancer by the horns and ride that SOB out of your body! Talk to it and demand it to leave because it is not welcomed! This is how I get through this lung cancer journey!

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