My Lung Cancer Journey and Church!

All my life I was told “God heals” but I never had to call upon God for any type of healing. Until that dreadful day in November 2014. When I received the news that I had lung cancer I’ll never forget how scared I was and that day I talked with God. I remember telling him “If you heal me, I’ll follow you.”

So, my journey began with my walk with God.

My church is my second home

I remember walking through the doors of a church and the welcoming compassion we received was outstanding. I thought to myself this is too good to be true, people are not like this. But I fell in love and felt a warmth inside of me like I was home, so I continued to attend and made that church my second home.

I continued to attend regularly on Sundays and then eventually every Wednesday. I started to get involved more and volunteered as much as I could. I started to learn more about God and his word, I started to grow spiritually, and began to feel peace. I slowly started changing from my old ways to this wonderful new person full of hope, peace, and certainty. I had a whole new family that prayed for me for complete healing, or so I thought. But I truly believe that I needed that for the beginning of my lung cancer journey. I attended that church for almost 5 years, and during those 5 years, it transformed me and helped me to grow and learn more. It gave me what I needed at that time, but that came to an end.

People need to support each other

I do thank the church for everything it taught me, and how it helped me get through my diagnosis. But I did question a lot of things that just didn’t sit right with me. I didn’t like the hypocrisy I saw all the time, the favoritism, and the lack of support. I dealt with a few jealous people as well and I thought to myself “What the heck is wrong with these people.”

It got worse when I appeared on Dr. Phil and started to do a lot of advocacy work and traveling. I said, “Wow there’s no hate like Christian love.” The pastor would always use me in his sermons and that pissed certain people off. I was told by another pastor that left the church that I was only exploited for the church’s gain.

But what really topped the cherry on the cake were 2 things; the first was when my mom passed away no condolences from the members and less than 10 came to her wake. But what’s even worse is when I went back to church and no one came up to me to give me their condolences, not even a hug when I needed it the most. Second is when I asked the pastor’s wife if I could rent one of the rooms to have my annual Zumbathon for Lung Cancer fundraiser. She flat out told me “Oh no not for that.” I felt a knife go through my heart; I was so hurt. That’s when I knew it was time for me to go and so I left and never looked back.

How does your belief help you?

Prior to all this I would pray and ask God to show me the truth and I truly believe our creator did just that. I realized you don’t need a building or a place to go to have God and his teachings in your heart. It’s been about 3 years or so since I ever stepped foot into a church, but God is always in my heart, my mind, and my spirit. It’s going on 8 years and I’m still here stronger than ever and at peace. Our creator is everywhere, in everything we do and see daily. Our creator sends us reminders, of his love, compassion, empathy, and yes healing. I continue to ask for healing, guidance, and protection and I get just that every day without having to go to a church.

Many that will read this will say God is actually a woman or he’s the universe. Some might be atheists, agnostics, or another religion and that’s ok. Just as long as you have something or believe in something that will help you get through your lung cancer journey. This is my story and wanted to share it. I’m no longer a Christian, I’m more spiritual now and I do believe in a creator, but I love to learn about other different beliefs.