Boring

It is with great sadness that we inform you of the passing of Lisa Moran on June 6, 2023. As a cherished member of LungCancer.net and a source of inspiration, Lisa generously and bravely shared her journey, touching and inspiring many in our community. Her courage fuels our mission, and her legacy will endure in our work. Her absence will be deeply felt, and we extend our heartfelt condolences to all who held her dear. We consider it a privilege that Lisa allowed us into her life, leaving an indelible mark on our hearts and our community.

Before June of this year, I've never wanted to be boring.

If anyone I've ever met had to use a hundred adjectives to describe me, it's safe to say, "boring" would not be one of them. I rarely let myself get bored or be a boring person. I like to have fun. Staying idle for too long makes me want to find a project or something to do. When I sew my clothes and outfits, the patterns and styles are usually 1950's styles with bright colors and novelty prints.

Hoping for boring test results

I guess if I were to hear any report from my oncologist about my three month follow up tests, "boring" would be on top of my preferred description list. At my latest quarterly CT scan and blood work results appointment, I was told my CT scan was "easy", "stable", and "boring". I hoped I could never be "boring" to friends, acquaintances or in any situation outside of describing no new activity or growth on a scan.

I had an eye exam the day after my lung cancer scan and labs results appointment. The doctor and I covered my extensive medical history and the many possible ways my medical conditions, diseases, and treatments could cause poor vision. We went through the steps of trying different lenses and prescriptions.

I read lines on the eye chart many times until she found the correct combination and prescription for my new eyeglasses. At the end of my exam, she said one word that stuck out, "boring." I told her how she was the second doctor in two days to use the word boring to describe a test result.

She would have picked a different word if she knew what frames I had already picked out for my first pair of prescription sunglasses. Who could be boring in a pair of black cat-eye frames with silver glitter? I know the description sounds more gawdy than stylish. But most of the time, that's my style. And I wear it with confidence. I am pretty sure that I will never be told by a doctor after a test or exam that I am gawdy.

Boring is a confidence boost

That's two different appointments, two days in a row, and both resulted in a "boring" outcome.

You know, I'll take it! My medical life has been anything but boring since the summer of 2015. Being told I'm boring more than once in a week was somewhat of a mental boost. I also feel physically different when I'm in a good place mentally. A positive mental place overflows into the physical aspects of my life.

I mentioned confidence. A positive mental outlook brings confidence to me, mentally as well as physically. I'm confident I can take the dog for a walk. I'm confident I can schedule myself for a couple of social activities within the same week.

"Boring" has given me the confidence I needed to make it to my four year Cancerversary in August and to my next quarterly scan without the anxieties possible cancer progression can bring.