How to Demotivate an Advocate: From an HR Point of View

I'm not a great advocate. I write about lung cancer and help people by being available to listen. But that is not me going out into the world and screaming to the top of my lungs about lung cancer. I used to be always on top of things. But even the best of intentions can turn someone away from advocacy in a heartbeat.

People want to feel like they are making a difference

You may be thinking, "What does this have to do with HR?" Well, everything. HR is for human resources. And those humans are the advocates. They aren't getting paid. So why are they advocating, especially if they are doing ok but tired so much it just doesn't seem worth it?

Because they feel valued. People more than anything want to feel like they are making a difference through ownership and freedom, not micromanaging and criticizing. My B.S. degree from Georgia State University was a concentration in HR and a minor in psychology. And maybe this is why I've given up trying. I don't feel valued anymore. I don't feel capable of the motivation it takes to take time away from my life when others in the community just write me off when making suggestions but implement them later. I've been at this for eight years. I couldn't make a difference alone. Because I did feel alone.

My experience in the hotel industry

This is the opposite of how the hotel I managed became a top 25 hotel in the United States and top 10 Romantic Hotel according to TripAdvisor. I held weekly meetings with each department head.

About two days prior was the deadline for them to add a topic to the agenda we would be discussing. This gave every department head a chance to be heard and the rest of the staff brainstorm, even if it wasn't our area of expertise. We would offer suggestions. But I would let the department heads have so much freedom that it worked for us. They became so dedicated and loyal that pay wasn't even an issue. Of course, we would approve the freedom of their decision-making at the meetings, but it worked. We had an organizational chart. That way employees knew who they were to report to or take questions to.

During the weekly meetings, we would play devil's advocate or praise the department that made something work.  Such as the kitchen with a new menu item the chef wanted to try. If it sold enough, we would make sure and recognize them when it was permanently put on the menu.

I enjoy being creative

I'm artistic. It's my niche and everyone who knows me knows that about me. So, I volunteered to rebrand the restaurant and build separate websites for the hotel and restaurant. I took pride in what I was doing. I was doing the accounting and making the hard decisions, yet this excited me. It made me want to go to work. Others were excited as well and when someone pointed out a mistake, I didn't take offense. We were a team at this point. The people who wanted to make the place great stayed. The people there for a paycheck were eventually let go. And maybe, looking back, they didn't feel like they were a part of something.

This type of organization applies to advocacy too. Hence the reason I don't do much of it anymore. I have no motivation. These past few weeks have proven to me that my experience is not valued or wanted. After 8 years that was the nail in the coffin that turned me away from advocating.

Rediscovering my passions

How am I to get that passion back? Every time I've made a suggestion it's as if it wasn't hard at all. I'm knee-deep in the lung cancer community. Right there with the newly diagnosed and the ones fighting recurrences. I want to do more, but differences got in the way. I hope you see the correlation to HR in the business setting. It's not a business but should be treated like one. I tried explaining that but it was in one ear and out the other. So, I gave up. Meeting after meeting no one wanted my opinion. No one asked after I've been doing it for 8 years.

If no one values what I have to say, then I'm not going to keep trying. I have so many other things going on.